Tips for Communicating, Navigating + for the Enneagram 9.

In a Bhakti yoga class recently, the yoga teacher asked the class to do something that took  me by surprise. I shifted a bit uneasily at his unusual request. Actually, I think I winced. The teacher wanted us to find and communicate with a stranger in the room.

My desire to sink into savoring internal experiences is not surprising as I lead with an Enneagram Type Two energy. We Enneagram Twos (Considerate Helpers) refuel, replenish and release when going to an internal, creative feeling space. That aligns with an Enneagram Type Four (Intense Creative) energy. For me, yoga feeds that. It’s a release and healer. As is gardening (I’m a former Landscape Designer). 

I was not wanting to communicate, relate or be social. And, by the way, my dominant instinct is Social, aka Navigating. Tip - Being Social Dominant as an Instinctual Drive does not mean the desire is to always be social. I’d just come off an intense week and I just wanted to restore my energy and stretch my body. I wanted to release and renew. 

The yoga communication experience gave me some new insights on my instincts and my communication patterns on the heels of my previous week’s intensive Enneagram retreat experience. That was good.

Communication happens in many ways. One study breaks down communication into three categories: Nonverbal (facial, posture, eye contact) (55%), Vocalization (tone) (38%), and Content (words) (7%). 

I believe communication has a fourth category, Energy. Perhaps the Nonverbal Category could be expanded to include Energy too. Communication is about exchanging information. Sending or receiving information. That’s energy exchange. So is using your two ears and one mouth for active listening.

Communication happens consciously and unconsciously, including …

• In Emotional, body and mental expressions

• In Transmitting, navigating and preserving energy

• In Nonverbal, Vocalization, Content and Energy

What shows up for you when….

Expressing yourself? Do you first feel (emotional), act (body) or think (mental)? 

Communicating, relating, living? Do you Transmit, Navigate or Preserve?

The Enneagram Systems can be an empowering Communications tool and map.  Here are some tips for communicating and relating with different Enneagram energies and types. Being self-aware and other-aware helps with navigating choices, communications, and relationships. Just do the best you can, no judgments.

Some tips for written or email communications for the 9 Types… (compliments of The Enneagram in Business):

Type One: Use words that suggest flexibility and receptivity rather than tight thinking. Experiment with language that encourages others’ views & input.

Type Two: Focus on yourself as much as the other person. Eliminate flattering, or when angry, harsh words. Use fewer superlatives. Like ‘great’.

Type Three: Refer less often to your own actions, achievements, or to  your self. Neither inflate or underestimate the importance of your actions. Use language that invites a response.

Type Four: Reduce the number of self-referencing words (I, me, mine, my self). Use more objective, less personalized language. Focus the email more on others, than self.

Type Five: Make short emails more elaborate. Make long ones more concise. Include feelings as well as thoughts. Be explicit if you want something from the email recipient.

Type Six: When distressed, make sure to still communicate warmth. Send only one email until you hear back from the recipient. Reduce the number of words conveying fear, anxiety and worry.

Type Seven: Elaborate on feelings and concerns. Use complete sentences and proper punctuation. Focus on the recipient as well as on your self.

Type Eight: Make sentences less commanding by varying the sentence structure and using less directive language. Specifically, invite a response. Be more personal and less formal.

Type Nine: Reduce the number of affirmations. Make your position and ideas clear and explicit.

Holidays can be stressful. Better communication, with intention, creates clarity and healthier relationships.

For more intentional communications, a useful process is using COIN: Common Ground, Observe, Investigate, Next Steps. (compliments of ExecutiveEnneagram.com). More on COIN and communications coming in my next blog post.

Be Well, Susan

4 Keys -> Cultivate, Heal, Grow + Create

Misty sunrise at BOI’s Hound Dog Hill. By Susan Walters Minker

In Spring of 2021 I could hardly walk, and was in constant pain in my back and legs. Moving and lifting hurt. A loss often opens up new awareness, of things taken for granted. I'd taken for granted walking, moving without pain. That ever happen to you, you take something for granted and then lose it?

Apparently the last straw for my spine, when it said 'enough', was after I'd spent several days moving heavy birch logs. It was during a stressful time. We'd just moved into a new home, and I was pivoting our retreat center business and navigating a team restructure. Life and work stressors were in full bloom. MRI tests showed I had a herniated disc, a shock of new information and helpful. By then I'd spent 2 months getting PT treatments that were actually creating more pain. 

I asked my docs, "Can I heal, get my mobility and spine health back?". Their response was, "Don't know. Herniated discs can improve, and normally don't fully heal". Not what I wanted to hear. 

So I created a healing plan to regenerate my spine, back and body. I knew from past experience it would need to be a whole body healing if it was to stick... body, heart, head and spirit. And I knew I needed support. So I built a support team of healers, teachers, guides and resources. It worked. I healed well, with time. I'm so grateful.

Along the way, I realized that these are the same steps I've done the last 20 years to cultivate, create, make a decision and/ or grow. My process at a high deck view. Whether for my self development, life, work, purpose discovery, relationships, creative juice, manifesting... and on.

My 4 healing/ cultivating/ growing/ creating steps are:

• Build Body Intelligence, Wisdom  (pilates, yoga, somatics (body-mind centering) +)

• Do the Inner Work - (Awareness & presence, Enneagram, energy management, spiritual journeying +)

• Connect with Nature - (nature pauses, plants, stones, wildlife, gardening, mother earth +)

• Practice Breath work & Meditation - (cellular regeneration, stress reduction, +)

Woven together, these are alchemy magic. Each key/ step has many options of practices, modalities, maps, wisdoms, healing energy catalysts, indigenous knowledge, etc.

For example, in my work with a coaching client we discovered that salsa dance was more impactful to awaken her body than practices such as yoga. She needed the fire of salsa. For me, pilates, qigong and yoga are key body awareness practices. I find different practices serve different needs.. such as weight lifting is a health and energy booster.

Especially key in my spine healing was pilates. I'd done pilates before, and I searched for a pilates somatics healing master. I found a gem, pilates trainer Megan Bascom. She helped me heal and functionally wake-up certain body-brain connections. And, we laugh a lot as she's witty as heck. I knew from my coaching work that pilates can be an impactful body intelligence practice. For me it was a healing practice too. The pilates and the laughter!

There's magic in weaving these 4 steps together. Which is why I created a workshop on Enneagram and Body Wisdoms (she's studied the Enneagram with me too). It’s Sept. 17, 1-4:30 and co-facilitated by me and Megan. It’s Enneagram, Energy + Body Wisdoms// Map, Move + Mine Your Self. We’ll be nestled in nature and at Bend of Ivy Lodge’s Pavilion. See Below for more info.

Find your medicines, fuels and practices. That's what I've done and help my clients with. Your body wisdom will guide you, as you tune up your inner knowing.

Be the change you'd like to see, right! And put your own oxygen mask on first.
If I can be of service, you'd like to explore something or have a question, let's connectto talk!

With love,
Susan

Retreat workshop Invite. Register Here:

Enneagram, Energy + Body Wisdoms// Map, Move + Mine Your Self.

Join us to explore, engage, map and move!

• Workshop: Enneagram, Energy + Body Wisdoms// Map, Move + Mine Your Self 

• Co-Facilitators: Susan Walters Minker & Megan Bascom

• Sunday, Sept. 17, 1 - 4:30pm

• At Bend of Ivy Lodge, the Pavilion

• A small group experience.